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Sunday, July 15, 2007

Bad Kitty



Well, I have been a very bad blogger, indeed, these past few weeks since the baby bean has arrived. I have just been so busy watching over her and making sure that she stays safe. I haven't even been giving the adults much attention, either, but have still managed to find a bit of time for the kids.

It has gotten very hot and sunny here and so much time has been spent on the balcony basking and tanning and watching all the lovely people down in the pool. I am not like Amy, though, who will sit perched on the railing and watch things... I'm sort of scared a little bit. But I do lie on the ground and observe things and keep my eye on the kids.

There are some neighbors who have gotten a new puppy and this puppy has also taken up uch of my free time as I have to watch him very carefully. It is actually a girl puppy and her name is Ginger.

Ginger is pretty damned cute, I will admit. And, she has her own bean, a little one like our Olivia only maybe a bit smaller and not as cute, but still a good looking one at that.

I have been a little sad, I will tell you. It is the birds that fly and play on our balcony. There are about five little baby birds with very blue heads and it seems that they have just learned how to fly and are having quite a good time with it. I'm a little pissed that I can't fly because I would like to join them although Amy says that this isn't natural and she even says that if she ever were to catch one, she would eat it.

Uh... who would eat something rather than play with it?? That's just stupid.

Well, I must run... Ginger is outside and I must go watch her. Talk to you soon!

posted by McNasty at 12:36 PM 5 Comments

Monday, July 2, 2007

Mystery Solved

It is seeming like a weekend here in the house because the man-human, Dean is off work for a a holiday. He did have to work today and I spent the day solving a mystery and also playing with the baby.

The mystery I solved is who was peeing in the laundry. I know now that it wasn't me and that it is Amy who does it because she is mad that the humans have brought home a baby. I also saw her poop in the woman's sunflower pots outside, but the woman saw her, too and now knows that I am not the one who does it.

Today, I saw my sister being nice to the small, blond one. She is always saying how much she hates the humans and how she is working in her secret laboratory (the one I'm not allowed to go in) to devise a plan to take over the world. I always roll my eyes at her and scoff because she is really quite stupid and can't even pee in a litter box much less destroy the human race.

But today, I was taking a nap and when I woke up, I peeked out of my eyeball and saw Amy rubbing on the blond one's ankles and I saw the blond one reach down and pick her up. Amy was purr purrs and snuggled up on a pillow that the blond one had brought out into the living room to lie down with. She and Olivia, as the small, golden haired one is called, wrapped up together in a soft blanket and took a nap.

Amy did not try to run away and Olivia did not have her pinned down. I know that Amy secretly likes the blond one.

So, there is this little sparrow that keeps coming to our balcony and I like to sit out there and listen to her chirp and whistle. I think she loves me and I love her and we just sit out there together in the sun and when it rains, she always swoops down to check up on me. She used to peck in the flowerpots, but not so much now that Amy pooped in one. Damn that Amy.

I find that I am making a lot of friends on here, but this is the first chance I've had in a while to get on and so there are lots of new friends to visit. I have just been so busy helping with the new baby but since the man is home tomorrow, I will have more time to spend on here.

That is all.

posted by McNasty at 8:55 PM 10 Comments

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Silly, Silly

Yesterday, I had some fun at the expense of the humans, mainly the woman.

The woman thinks that cats are hilarious because we tend to spazz out a little bit at times. As Amy doesn't really care to amuse the humans, she acts like a stuck up prude most of the time, but I love my family and so I try to make them laugh a lot. Especially the woman, Kyra.

Kyra took the she-child, Olivia out shopping for a few hours yesterday and I missed them terribly, so when they got home, I wanted some attention. I really wanted to get a laugh and so I bolted back and forth across the living room as fast as I could meowing loudly at nothing. It worked and the woman kept giggling and saying, "John, you crazy bastard... what are you doing??"

Score.

So, I decided to elaborate more on my insanity and leaped up on the shelf behind the couch and started trying to climb the wall. This had her in stitches. I was happy and layed down on the couch next to her for a belly rub, which she was pleased to oblige me. I soo love the belly rub.

Today, the humans are going to go get their family portraits taken now that the family has been completed by the arrival of the baby human. I am kind of jealous and sad that they haven't asked me to be in the picture and I know that they would like me to be, but the studio will not let us in.

This kind of bigotry makes me mad.

I want to be allowed to go everywhere the humans go. I have heard them talk about how in Germany, animals are welcome anywhere the humans are and I wish that were how it was here. I really want to go with them when they leave the house, although I admit that it isn't too often that they are all gone at once. Most of the time, just a couple of them leave and some stay behind and play with me.

Amy, my evil sister, keeps disappearing from time to time. I don't know where she is going but I won't be able to find her. I wonder what she is up to.

Last night, the man human, Dean, got very mad because Kyra had been doing laundry and had brought a load out to fold it and she put the clean clothes on the floor. Well, someone peed in them and Dean was angry and said he was going to get rid of us. Kyra told him no! and he said, well then we have to do something about this.

I don't know if it was me or not. It might have been, or maybe it was Amy. I don't remember. I hope he doesn't stay angry, though, and I hope that if I am the one who peed on the clean clothes, that I don't do it again.

The sun is shining today and I am happy because it has been raining a lot lately and I want to go sleep on the balcony. I am going to go curl up in the flower pot before it starts to rain again.

posted by McNasty at 2:39 PM 15 Comments

Friday, June 29, 2007

The She-Baby



Okay, so the humans are a little bit sketchy about me snuggling or playing with the new she-kid... the one they call Emi. They seem to get jumpy if I lie next to her or try to cuddle up, but I just can't help it. She's pretty damned cute. And also, she hasn't got what it takes to pull my ears or whiskers or tail, yet.



You know, I was wondering what the hell they were buying all of this new stuff for. Suddenly, a few months back, a big, comfy swing was set up. Then, a little vibrating chair. At some point, they put up a new kind of bed in the nursery. All of these things are very, very comfortable, but the humans really don't want me to be in them.

Well, then what the hell did you get them for if no one is allowed to use them?

And then I figured it out. They were for the baby. This is unfair. She, certainly cannot sit in all of them at the same time so why am I not allowed to occupy what she is not?

Sometimes, they let me get away with it and sometimes they don't. Really, they need to make up their minds about this.



This morning, the woman woke up and brought the she-baby out in the living room and I was very excited to see them. The woman put the she-baby on a blanket on the floor and changed her diaper but she was getting irritated because while she was trying to do this, I was playing with the baby. I was pawing at her hands and licking her nose and shaking my tail at her and the woman kept telling me to stop it. Sheesh, lady. I was just trying to help entertain the kid while you did your work.

Besides, the baby liked it. I could tell. She had her eyes open and was looking at me and trying to grab at my tail, something I should not encourage because I will hate myself by the time she's six months and dragging me around by the ass.

Before the woman and she-baby woke up, the man woke up as he does most every morning to go to work. Amy and I had run out of food last night and the man went to the store to get some more. He comes in with the bag and I sit by my bowl and wait patiently, but the moron doesn't put anything in it.

WTF?

Put the food in the bowl, you fucker. Do it. Do it now.

Nothing. I rub ankles and meow at him and make it quite clear that I wish to be fed and he is humming and wandering around and NOT feeding me.I'm thinking that I should scratch his eyes out for this, but then he finally figures out what I'm flipping out over and puts the food in the bowl and sets it in front of me.

Finally!

Oh... I have to go. The baby is in the swing and the vibrating seat is available. If I don't get in it now, the blond she-child will beat me to it.

posted by McNasty at 9:51 AM 12 Comments

Thursday, June 28, 2007

The Maiden Post



I have recently learned that some of my fellow felines have been permitted to write blogs and so I decided to ask one of the human's in the house if I might be able to use the computer to keep my own blog. They were happy to allow me so long as it doesn't interfere with their own blogging.

I am thinking that I might need to just go out and get a computer of my own. They are on this thing a lot.

So, this is my very brief story. It is brief because I am only six months old and have not yet had the opportunity to experience some of the same adventures that many of a greater age have gotten to experience.

My name is Johnson Frecklemeyer McNasty III although I am more commonly called John, Johnny, or Nasty by the humans I live with. I have a sister named Amy who lives here with us and she's not near as social as I am so most of the writings here will be mine.

Amy and I are a breed called Maine Coon and what this means is that we are constantly being called "Fat asses". This is because cats of our regal breed get quite a bit larger than most other cats, although Amy was a runt and has never really grown very much. She will be the freak cat where as I am the handsome stud who does my kind proud.

The humans in this house are a man, a woman, a large, man-child, a long haired man-child, a small, blond she-kid and a new she kid who is smaller than I am.

I like the humans a lot although Amy doesn't. I admit that I am a tad jealous of the new she-kid as she is stealing a bit of my attention from the woman, but it's not so bad, really because she is very cute and I like to lie next to her.

The man-children are Matt and Owen and I am "Owen's cat". He likes to lug me around and so does the small, blond she-kid who is called, Olivia. Much more about them all later.

This has been my introduction and you can betcha that I'll be writing quite a bit from now on.

That is all. Good day to you.

posted by McNasty at 4:19 PM 1 Comments